The Delivery is a pretty graphic event.
During our birthing classes, they showed a video of medicated (epidural) and also of natural childbirth. Apparently it is very popular to get back to a natural method of delivery, and the hospital and nurses are large proponents of natural delivery sans juice. As an incentive, it was mentioned that (on a first-come-first-serve basis) if someone entering the hospital was to choose natural delivery at the time of admission, they could potentially get one of the two suites with jacuzzi tubs. Instant upgrade! Would not even need to slip them a $20 like in Vegas. However, after viewing the video, it was apparent that the woman being filmed was very proud of her accomplishment and being able to handle the pain of contractions without taking the edge off. When asked who would still prefer to have an epidural at the end of the class, all hands went up.
Our own plan from the start was to get the happy juice. Epidural risks being what they are, they are much safer than in previous time according to statistical analysis of
>50% of women choosing epidurals in hospitals. The actual drug is some derivative of narcotic cocaine applied to the
epidural space as a form of local anesthesia which essentially inhibits nerve signals from a point in the spine down. This typically prevents the ability to walk, control bladder and bowels, as well as moving lower limbs. A catheter needs to be attached to allow for discharge of pee. For poop, I'm not sure as it didn't come up in our case.
In the movies, and even the birthing videos, the labor portion is always short. Personally, I think this is to prevent widespread fear and anxiety among the potential mothers out there (would probably be a great way of making young teens realize what they would need to face if practicing unsafe sex, not to mention additional appreciation for moms for going through it). And previously in movies, the baby comes out all clean and cute and Mom is always crying tears of joy. The reality (and youtube has a few of these) is the baby comes out greyish-blue-purple covered in what looks like white filmy stuff (looks like dried saliva) and blood. Not like little bits of blood like "oooooohhhh! I got a bloody nose", but more volume as you would see at the butchers. And not the bright red blood, but the dark chocolatey stuff. Ask me how I know...
The whole week of the due date, Mars was experiencing contractions sporadically. Whether or not these were
Braxton Hicks or not, is apparently highly dependent on a case-to-case basis. Either way, we were prepped by the OB to only head towards to the hospital provided any of the following occurred:
- Bloody show
- Contractions 5min apart (start-to-start) for a full hour
- Water breaks
Thus prepared, we were constantly vigilant of any signs and closely timing, recording, and monitoring contraction periods, frequency, and duration. That's a lot of data to collect, be prepared. Grab a notepad (I recorded notes on my iPhone), and plot the data and a pattern emerges. This plot/pattern will be meaningless as the progression of labor is not precise. The take-away point here is, since labor is eminent, there is no way you can do anything or go anywhere. We passed time watching every possible show on-demand as comfortable as possible on the couch. Our bags were packed, and already in the car (full tank!). There was only so much preparation one can do however, and boredom and tension set in. When was this going to happen already? It's akin to waiting for a number at DMV. You have to wait in line to get a number, before waiting again to get your number called, but without any indication of how long this wait was going to be. Thankfully, we don't watch much television, so there was plenty to catch up on and we experimented with cooking at home.
 |
| Second attempt, I rolled it out more and rolled the crust up. |
We also got a little bit silly, as it's important to have some fun.
 |
| Bump painting, art done by yours truly :) |
Finally Friday night, contractions were coming pretty regularly, but spaced out roughly 40 minutes apart around 8pm. 10pm, this was down to 30 minutes apart. Midnight, 22 minutes. At this point, I was exhausted and went to bed. Mars couldn't sleep, and stayed up to 3am counting before tossing in the towel and crashing out. Around 4:30am, Mars had a powerful contraction which woke her and a great need to pee. So she got up, and her water broke while on the toilet. I heard her call, "Peter! Ummm... I
think my
water broke!" Clean up on aisle 7! We made a mad dash to clean up, get everything sorted, brushed our teeth, splashed some water (tap water) on my face, grabbed our phones and chargers and headed out.
Our drive over was uneventful, thankfully little to no traffic at 5am on a Saturday morning. Just people sneaking out the morning after, paper delivery trucks, etc. We called the hospital to let them know we were on our way (pre-registration is a bonus). We were admitted at 5:30am and bunker-ed down in our room. Mars was examined for progress, and was found to be at 4cm dilated. She told the nurse she planned on having an epidural. And again at 7am when the nurse shift changed, she was re-examined and had to re-iterate that
yes, she would like the juice that made you see unicorns and rainbows. At this time, our primary nurse assigned to us was Halina, who has be delivering babies for over 30 years. A little bit about Halina - originally from Poland, very straight shooter, no-nonsense, and the doctor said she was a great birthing coach (which let me off the hook for that). Mars wanted the epidural, Halina said I'll prep and get it for you. Although... it was almost 8am. 8am is the shift change for doctors on call. So if we had started then, it would start with one doctor and continue with another - which would cause a delay as they would have to consult to transfer patient responsibility over. These are the little annoying things no one ever mentions, but are very real factors that influence decision making. Halina looked at Mars, and said "I'll get it done." Five minutes before 8am, she had the anesthetic cart ready and the anesthesiologist in the room. The whole procedure took 10 minutes, very quick and the anesthesiologist was very pleasant, very informative, and super attentive. She was monitored for another 10 minutes to ensure feeling to her toes decreased as they adjusted (slowly incremented) her dosage. And then she fell asleep.
By this time, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law had arrived. Not much for us to do, so we walked out of the hospital to a great little breakfast cafe across the street and were joined by my brother-in-law. Seven cups of coffee, a stack of pancakes, and an omelet later, we returned to the room in time for Halina to examine Mars progress. 10:30am, she was 9cm dialted. Within the last two hours, she had progressed 5cm! Halina predicted she would be ready to start pushing by noon. Phone calls were made, Mars was feeling like we'd be done by 1pm. My sister called and predicted 12:30. Following the Price-Is-Right! rules, I set it to a very conservative 4pm. Noontime rolled around, and Halina checked again, this time with the OB. "Very soon. Maybe another hour." Looks like my sister lost. Mars still had a chance to win her bet. While waiting, we occupied ourselves by asking Halina a ton of questions about the equipment, what all the numbers meant.
A short while later, the machines picked up that the contractions cycle was 2-1-2-1-2-4 (two minutes long contraction with a one minute lull, and a four minute break after the third cycle). This was enough to get going according to Halina, so at 1:30pm we started pushing. Mom and I each helped lift one of Mars' legs so she would have something to push against. I was so proud of Mars, she did such a great job. During each two minute contraction, she would have to take a deep breath and hold it for 35-45 seconds while pushing mightily. Then a quick breath, and again for 35-45 seconds. And a third time, to complete the two minute contraction period. So for every two minutes, she was holding her breath and exerting tremendous force 80% of the time. This went on and on until about 3pm (Mars is a champ! I am so proud of her.). At this time, the OB called for a break. The was progress being made, as Kaycee's head was moving closer to crowning slowly, but the OB was concerned that it was taking too long as Kaycee was starting to show signs of distress as her heart rate would drop during the pushes from ~150bpm to 100bpm. After about three cycles of a break, Mars began pushing again under the doctor's orders. After another half hour, not enough progression was made and the OB said we would need to move to the OR to prepare for use of the vacuum, and as a worst-case Caesarian section. This terrified Mars, she really did not want to go under the knife!
I was allowed in after wearing the full bunny suit, to comfort Mars. By this time, she was moved onto the operating table, feet up in the stirrups. The doctor was in the quarterback position, ready for the snap. She explained to us that she would perform an
episiotomy, to give Kaycee a larger opening in which to pass. Mars would really have to push now with all her might if she wanted to avoid a C-section. There is no greater motivator than fear. With the second push, Kaycee was out!
4:43pm (according to the Price-Is-Right! rules, I won), 6lbs 1oz, 18.5 inches, our daughter Kaycee was born.
