Baby Gear - Stroller edition

Baby Gear is a big thing. It's a huge market, and there are tons of websites, reviews, forums, books, and marketing geared towards the baby/parent sector. The question we constantly kept asking ourselves was "Do we really need this?"

Stroller
  Stroller selection was a big topic at home before delivery. You have your well established brand names like Graco, Britax, Chico, etc. then you have your luxury brands like Uppababy, B.O.B., Bugaboo, etc. and then you have your ultra-elite luxury brands which are only available in Europe or certain select markets. Cost-wise, these strollers will run you anywhere from $50-$200 for a good sturdy functional stroller, to $400-$800 for a luxury stroller in fashionable colors and brushed aluminum frame, to $1000+ for the top-of-the-line-make-all-other-mommies-jealous diva strollers. The latter being more of a show of one-upmanship and status recognition than anything (think Louis Vuitton). That being said, there's got to be something you look for, right? Some discernible tangible difference that would logically necessitate the price jump from one level to the next.

• Seat

1. Whether or not the stroller in question can accept various car seats of popular brands (or has adapters to do so).
2. If you can orient the seat to face mommy and switch it to outward facing for when the baby gets older.
3. Recline ability for napping in the stroller.
4. Tray options for putting snacks or toys to keep your child occupied

• Weight

   In a era where light-weight materials are abundant, it's important to get a light weight stroller. Aluminum is preferred, although plastic is still the most common. Stroller will range anywhere from 8lbs for an ultra-lightweight umbrella stroller to 26+lbs for a heavy duty do-it-all urban commando stroller (doubles as a shopping cart).

• Folding

  One-handed fold operation is very convenient. One salesperson put it like this, "You're carrying the baby in one hand, shouldering the diaper bag, and trying to fold up a stroller sometimes. One-handed operation will save your life."

• Basket size

  We were told to look for a large basket because we would probably want to drop the diaper bag in there. Wherever you went with a stroller, it was implicit that you were going to be walking for a while. Why subject yourself to doing so with a big ass girly looking diaper bag on your shoulder when you can toss it into the stroller basket?

  These were the main factors we looked into. The primary factor being price. I automatically ruled out any "status" strollers that did not add any appreciable function. Secondary factors being weight and tertiary factor was ease of use (folding and basket). For us, this selection still presented a large range of strollers, but we narrowed it down to the Baby Trends Snap 'n Go, Uppababy Vista/Cruz, Britax B-Ready, City Mini GT/Versa (approximate new current pricing being respectively $75, $700/$450, $450, $350/$450).

Snap 'n Go

  The Snap 'n Go is a temporary stroller caddy - not a true stroller. It requires the child to ride in the car seat, which is place on this stroller caddy. However, it does possess a fairly large basket, and is extremely lightweight at 12lbs. We ended up finding a used-once model on craigslist for $35. At this price, it was something fairly easy to stomach although most friends who had one said they found it useful only from newborn-3month range.

Britax B Ready

Uppababy Cruz

City Versa

  The B-Ready, Cruz, and Versa are all similar models which has a detachable seat and will also allow (with adapter) to use our car set in it. They all operate fairly similarly as well, with difference being mainly from manufacturing, wheels (suspension/ride, "push"/tires), weight and folding. Of these, the Cruz seemed the most well constructed, but was lacking in handle bar adjustability. The Versa came in second, but was pushing 26lbs. The B-Ready felt the worst to push, and offered no benefit at the same pricing point.

Uppababy Vista

  The Uppababy Vista was the front-runner in Mars' eyes from online reviews. People loved it, her friends had also said good things about it. So we went for a drive down to BuyBuyBaby, and felt out this stroller in person. Luckily we did. The Vista is a massive, sturdy to the point of monolithic, stroller. Weighing in at 26lbs as well, this was a beast of a stroller to try to load into the trunk. At the price point of $700, we looked to find the added value... but could not justify it.

City Mini GT

  The City Mini GT ended up being our favorite. One handed easy fold operation, 21lbs but felt fairly light, and super easy to push. A feature my sister told me to check was turning radius, as this would be critical in grocery stores, shopping malls, etc. This stroller had a turning radius of about 40", pretty tight and we slalomed it through the aisles of BuyBuyBaby to be sure. We were ready to buy, but the salesperson mentioned that if we liked the MiniGT and wanted the ability to drop in the car seat, the Versa was due to come out shortly.
 
  During the wait, we continued to ask ourselves if it was worthwhile to drop several hundred dollars on a stroller. After trying the Versa out when it finally released, we decided to go with the Snap 'n Go temporarily buying us three months more to decide (and for prices to come down). However, my brother-in-law offered us his Bugaboo Chameleon that Kaycee's cousin Rylen had used, if we got Rylen an umbrella stroller. Umbrella strollers are a lot more affordable than these large push strollers, so we agreed. Knowing that our purchase would eventually come back to us for Kaycee's use, we went about comparing the Maclaren Techno umbrella to the Uppababy G-Luxe, and finally settled on the G-Luxe (two-handed easy folding into a stand, small basket but great recline feature and large sunshade).

G-Luxe

Likes and dislikes of a 3 weeks old...

Kaycee turned three weeks old recently and has already established likes and dislikes.

Likes

• Warm baths - especially after a meal of boobie juice or formula, this will induce cherubic euphoria
• Island music/reggae - getting her asleep sometimes is tough, but the soothing melodies on this mix will settle her down. That or "Three Little Birds" from Bob Marley (note she does NOT like "Buffalo Soldier")

• Long car rides - something about road noise and the rocking motion of catatonic traffic...

Dislikes

• Cold wet wipes - this evokes complaints faster than a grandma at a dim sum place
•  Blowing in her face - I use this regularly to wake her up when she falls asleep during a feeding. It annoys the crap outta her. If this doesn't work, see cold wet wipes haha.
• "Buffalo Soldier" - as previously mentioned, she's not a fan. It may be related to mention of violence as she also does not like "I Shot the Sheriff".

When she really likes you, she will hold your finger.

The Delivery

The Delivery is a pretty graphic event.

  During our birthing classes, they showed a video of medicated (epidural) and also of natural childbirth. Apparently it is very popular to get back to a natural method of delivery, and the hospital and nurses are large proponents of natural delivery sans juice. As an incentive, it was mentioned that (on a first-come-first-serve basis) if someone entering the hospital was to choose natural delivery at the time of admission, they could potentially get one of the two suites with jacuzzi tubs. Instant upgrade! Would not even need to slip them a $20 like in Vegas. However, after viewing the video, it was apparent that the woman being filmed was very proud of her accomplishment and being able to handle the pain of contractions without taking the edge off. When asked who would still prefer to have an epidural at the end of the class, all hands went up.
  Our own plan from the start was to get the happy juice. Epidural risks being what they are, they are much safer than in previous time according to statistical analysis of >50% of women choosing epidurals in hospitals. The actual drug is some derivative of narcotic cocaine applied to the epidural space as a form of local anesthesia which essentially inhibits nerve signals from a point in the spine down. This typically prevents the ability to walk, control bladder and bowels, as well as moving lower limbs. A catheter needs to be attached to allow for discharge of pee. For poop, I'm not sure as it didn't come up in our case.
  In the movies, and even the birthing videos, the labor portion is always short. Personally, I think this is to prevent widespread fear and anxiety among the potential mothers out there (would probably be a great way of making young teens realize what they would need to face if practicing unsafe sex, not to mention additional appreciation for moms for going through it). And previously in movies, the baby comes out all clean and cute and Mom is always crying tears of joy. The reality (and youtube has a few of these) is the baby comes out greyish-blue-purple covered in what looks like white filmy stuff (looks like dried saliva) and blood. Not like little bits of blood like "oooooohhhh! I got a bloody nose", but more volume as you would see at the butchers. And not the bright red blood, but the dark chocolatey stuff. Ask me how I know...

  The whole week of the due date, Mars was experiencing contractions sporadically. Whether or not these were Braxton Hicks or not, is apparently highly dependent on a case-to-case basis. Either way, we were prepped by the OB to only head towards to the hospital provided any of the following occurred:

• Bloody show
• Contractions 5min apart (start-to-start) for a full hour
• Water breaks

Thus prepared, we were constantly vigilant of any signs and closely timing, recording, and monitoring contraction periods, frequency, and duration. That's a lot of data to collect, be prepared. Grab a notepad (I recorded notes on my iPhone), and plot the data and a pattern emerges. This plot/pattern will be meaningless as the progression of labor is not precise. The take-away point here is, since labor is eminent, there is no way you can do anything or go anywhere. We passed time watching every possible show on-demand as comfortable as possible on the couch. Our bags were packed, and already in the car (full tank!). There was only so much preparation one can do however, and boredom and tension set in. When was this going to happen already? It's akin to waiting for a number at DMV. You have to wait in line to get a number, before waiting again to get your number called, but without any indication of how long this wait was going to be. Thankfully, we don't watch much television, so there was plenty to catch up on and we experimented with cooking at home.

First attempt at home-made pizza dough. Thin crust, super crisp.

Second attempt, I rolled it out more and rolled the crust up.

 We also got a little bit silly, as it's important to have some fun.

Bump painting, art done by yours truly :)

  Finally Friday night, contractions were coming pretty regularly, but spaced out roughly 40 minutes apart around 8pm. 10pm, this was down to 30 minutes apart. Midnight, 22 minutes. At this point, I was exhausted and went to bed. Mars couldn't sleep, and stayed up to 3am counting before tossing in the towel and crashing out. Around 4:30am, Mars had a powerful contraction which woke her and a great need to pee. So she got up, and her water broke while on the toilet. I heard her call, "Peter! Ummm... I think my water broke!" Clean up on aisle 7! We made a mad dash to clean up, get everything sorted, brushed our teeth, splashed some water (tap water) on my face, grabbed our phones and chargers and headed out.
  Our drive over was uneventful, thankfully little to no traffic at 5am on a Saturday morning. Just people sneaking out the morning after, paper delivery trucks, etc. We called the hospital to let them know we were on our way (pre-registration is a bonus). We were admitted at 5:30am and bunker-ed down in our room. Mars was examined for progress, and was found to be at 4cm dilated. She told the nurse she planned on having an epidural. And again at 7am when the nurse shift changed, she was re-examined and had to re-iterate that yes, she would like the juice that made you see unicorns and rainbows. At this time, our primary nurse assigned to us was Halina, who has be delivering babies for over 30 years. A little bit about Halina - originally from Poland, very straight shooter, no-nonsense, and the doctor said she was a great birthing coach (which let me off the hook for that). Mars wanted the epidural, Halina said I'll prep and get it for you. Although... it was almost 8am. 8am is the shift change for doctors on call. So if we had started then, it would start with one doctor and continue with another - which would cause a delay as they would have to consult to transfer patient responsibility over. These are the little annoying things no one ever mentions, but are very real factors that influence decision making. Halina looked at Mars, and said "I'll get it done." Five minutes before 8am, she had the anesthetic cart ready and the anesthesiologist in the room. The whole procedure took 10 minutes, very quick and the anesthesiologist was very pleasant, very informative, and super attentive. She was monitored for another 10 minutes to ensure feeling to her toes decreased as they adjusted (slowly incremented) her dosage. And then she fell asleep.
  By this time, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law had arrived. Not much for us to do, so we walked out of the hospital to a great little breakfast cafe across the street and were joined by my brother-in-law. Seven cups of coffee, a stack of pancakes, and an omelet later, we returned to the room in time for Halina to examine Mars progress. 10:30am, she was 9cm dialted. Within the last two hours, she had progressed 5cm! Halina predicted she would be ready to start pushing by noon. Phone calls were made, Mars was feeling like we'd be done by 1pm. My sister called and predicted 12:30. Following the Price-Is-Right! rules, I set it to a very conservative 4pm. Noontime rolled around, and Halina checked again, this time with the OB. "Very soon. Maybe another hour." Looks like my sister lost. Mars still had a chance to win her bet. While waiting, we occupied ourselves by asking Halina a ton of questions about the equipment, what all the numbers meant.
  A short while later, the machines picked up that the contractions cycle was 2-1-2-1-2-4 (two minutes long contraction with a one minute lull, and a four minute break after the third cycle). This was enough to get going according to Halina, so at 1:30pm we started pushing. Mom and I each helped lift one of Mars' legs so she would have something to push against. I was so proud of Mars, she did such a great job. During each two minute contraction, she would have to take a deep breath and hold it for 35-45 seconds while pushing mightily. Then a quick breath, and again for 35-45 seconds. And a third time, to complete the two minute contraction period. So for every two minutes, she was holding her breath and exerting tremendous force 80% of the time. This went on and on until about 3pm (Mars is a champ! I am so proud of her.). At this time, the OB called for a break. The was progress being made, as Kaycee's head was moving closer to crowning slowly, but the OB was concerned that it was taking too long as Kaycee was starting to show signs of distress as her heart rate would drop during the pushes from ~150bpm to 100bpm. After about three cycles of a break, Mars began pushing again under the doctor's orders. After another half hour, not enough progression was made and the OB said we would need to move to the OR to prepare for use of the vacuum, and as a worst-case Caesarian section. This terrified Mars, she really did not want to go under the knife!
  I was allowed in after wearing the full bunny suit, to comfort Mars. By this time, she was moved onto the operating table, feet up in the stirrups. The doctor was in the quarterback position, ready for the snap. She explained to us that she would perform an episiotomy, to give Kaycee a larger opening in which to pass. Mars would really have to push now with all her might if she wanted to avoid a C-section. There is no greater motivator than fear. With the second push, Kaycee was out!

4:43pm (according to the Price-Is-Right! rules, I won), 6lbs 1oz, 18.5 inches, our daughter Kaycee was born.

Visits from friends and family

While we are at the hospital, we did get some welcome visits from people not set on poking or prodding Mars and/or Kaycee.

Grandma holding Kaycee

Grandma loves Kaycee

Uncle Rommel thinks Kaycee's cute

Jen & Scott getting comfortable with Kaycee

Joe and Caroline pretending Kaycee is their daughter

Mars and Carol holding Kaycee

 The following week, the Hwang family showed up. My dad and step-mother flew in from China to see Kaycee (and to celebrate my dad's 71st birthday), so my entire immediate family drove up from SoCal.

Uncle George was first to arrive, and got to spend lots of one-on-one time with Kaycee

Step-Grandma looooves Kaycee and was so helpful!

Aunty Nancy and cousin Brianna were excited to see Kaycee for the first time

Aunty Alice got to see a range of Kaycee's "Blue Steel" impersonation.

Happy 71st birthday Grandpa!

Grandpa says "Happy Belated Birthday!" to Kaycee

Grandpa is happy to be with the newest family addition

Big cousin Amanda protectively looking over the sleeping Kaycee

Step-Grandma watching Kaycee so us parents could take a nap! Thanks again!

The first few days at home

The first few days at home, you are soooooooo happy to be there.

• No more sterile hospital, with odd "old people" smelling bathrooms. 
• No more random visits by nurses, nurse assistants, etc at all hours of the night. 
• No more terrible hospital food. 
• No more lumpy couch to sleep on.

But then reality sets in, and you realize:

• No more nurse to change the diapers.
• Holy crap we run through diapers super fast!
• OH SH!T! What the hell is that in the diaper? Who do I ask?
• It is really hard to prepare a bottle/food/get water/use the bathroom/take a shower/try writing a blog to document all this, while holding an infant.

  When we first came home, it was a relief but we had (or so we thought) realistic expectations that there would be some adjustment period. Getting used to a schedule, division of tasks, what we can/cannot do, just to mention some things. As we set about like busy bees, Mars trying to produce milk to feed while simultaneously trying to recover from a marathon birthing session, we quickly realized there was a lot to do. First - ummm... fridge is empty. So grocery shopping was on the list. Second, there is this little event called night day reversal that some infants do. Third, we ended up having three pediatric visits the first week.

  No one told us about night day reversal. Sure parents told us "Get used to not sleeping", but we had (incorrectly) assumed that was due to the baby's feeding cycle. From the books and hospital pamphlets, we were to feed Kaycee every 2-3hrs for 8-12 sessions a day. Got it, no problem. But Kaycee started sleeping through the day and becoming very active at night, wanting us to stay up and hold her through the night. I don't believe either of us were ready for that, I guess that's why some parents have blackout curtains. Needless to say, the first three days, Mars averaged ~1hr/day of sleep, while I averaged ~3hrs (sometimes it's good not have mammary glands).
  After a few times, we got accustomed to the pattern of sleep-eat-burp-poop-repeat. That is until day two. Day two, she started crying every 40min-1hr. We went through the checklist (diaper? food? fever?) and found she was hungry. So she would breast feed for 15 minutes and fall back asleep. Diaper checks are like checking your oil, it's the only indication as to what's going on inside if you're not the doctor/mechanic. We checked, some black poop (normal), but no pee. This came up during our first pediatrician visit, as they regularly ask "How many BM/wet diapers in the last 24hrs?" (bm = bowel movement, not business management...context!). We explained, and it became related to the feeding. Feeding seemed difficult because milk production takes 3-4 days of stimulation to come in. This was tremendously frustrating, because the nurses and lactation consultants are all so pro-booby they don't recommend supplementing with formula at all. We didn't know better, this is our first time. They are the experts, aren't they?
  Our pediatrician straight out said, supplement with formula! Kaycee has been crying because she's been hungry for the last day or so. And the no wet diaper part? "Yes, this is dehydration. Her body weight has dropped 8% since birth, and her bilirubin levels are high and could indicate jaundice." W..T..F.. You can believe Mars and I were both angry, confused, frustrated, and demoralized. It was day two, and we felt like such bad parents already.
  We got home, immediately started her on some formula which she drank greedily. And slept. And smiled while sleeping. What a relief! Overnight, she started with 10mL and worked up to 30mL (~1oz) during her feedings. And a WET DIAPER! Hallelujah! We reported this on day three during our follow up appointment with the pediatrician, and she wanted another appointment three days later to monitor progress. We were very trepidacious about our visit, as Kaycee's health was at stake. We were tense, anxious, and stressed about it and about weaning off formula at a later time. Our fears were just that, anxiety fears. Her bilirubin numbers had come down, so further monitoring was not necessary. She had gained back four ounces, and up to 7 wet diapers and 9-10 poops per 24hr period. Right on track! There was some concern about weaning off formula, as each infant individual has their own preferences. How fast they like to drink (Kaycee still uses a slow-flow nipple), flavor (Kaycee looked like she experienced a sour lemon when given pre-made Enfamil newborn formula), and consistency (I've read there is a possibility of thickening milk with rice). Thankfully for us, Kaycee is pretty accommodating and accepts both Mars' breast milk and Enfamil powder formula.

  One other minor concern we had was Gunther's acceptance of Kaycee. While at the hospital, our friend had told us how someone had given away their cat for misbehaving when the family came home with a newborn infant. The cat was apparently being destructive and peeing in people's shoes. Our nurse, Halina, had also warned us about pet's acceptance. She instructed me to take Kaycee's first hat (the one she wore for the first day fresh out of the womb until first bath) home to Gunther and have him become adjusted. I did so that same night as I snuck home to feed Gunther and take a shower (see above bullet about shower smelling like old people), and Gunther was ok with the scent on the hat. He sniffed it, looked at it, and left it alone. Later, when I was grooming him I brought the hat up to him again. Again, he sniffed it and looked at it. Then he rubbed up against it. All was good. When we came home with Kaycee, Gunther was constantly underfoot. At first, we were concerned this might be some kind of contention for attention on his part. Once Kaycee began crying, we saw Gunther was not vying for attention, but trying to welcome and comfort Kaycee. During the infamous day two, Gunther stayed up with Kaycee and meowed with her cries. He would follow her which ever room we had her in, and stay close by.

The two of them sleeping.

A reflection on the first 9 months...

The 9 months of pregnancy are long and hard, but goes by quicker than you may believe.

The first trimester  During the first three months, guys may or may not even know what is going on. Women have signs that their bodies are changing, and they have women's intuition. Guys, being more obtuse, are unlikely to think anything is out of the ordinary, until they start seeing their lady getting more obtuse in the midsection. So unless the mom-to-be knocks him over the head and tells him straight out, he will be pretty clueless.

  Mars and I had discussed having a child, when we would do it, and things like that. I will have to admit, I was more along for the long arduous task of conceiving the child, than actually having one. I had heard from many people that it would take a long time to conceive, it would hard work, not to expect overnight success, give it time, don't have high expectations, enjoy it, etc. Due to this, my mindset was that of "this is going to be a while", but go ahead and have some fun. Well, the fun ended all too soon, and we conceived immediately. It happened so fast, we neglected to fully plan out financial and insurance aspects of having a child (although a setback, definitely not a deal-breaker).

The second trimester
  The next few months move along at a regular pace, but time may seem shorter because there's suddenly a list of lists to do. To-do lists for the house, to-do lists for insurance/LOA (leave of absence)/PTO (paid time off)/FMLA (family medical leave of absence), parenting books to read, baby items to buy, etc.

  For the house, we had to paint the room, setup the crib/bassinet, changing table, diaper organizer (IKEA bookcase), baby clothes, baby registry, and make space for baby things. This meant clearing out closets, clearing out storage bins, looking for things to baby-proof. While this was going on, we had doctor visits to the OB every two weeks which I unfortunately could not always make due to work. The one that I made sure I scheduled in was our 3D ultrasound. At this point, we were still less than 20 weeks along and did not know the sex of our baby. But a week or so prior to the ultrasound I had a very vivid dream one night that stuck with me. In the dream we were at some park or fair/festival/party, and I was holding this little girl's hand walking on the grass. She was wearing a denim jacket and jeans, maybe three years old. Her hair was shorter than shoulder length, berets holding it out of her face. She looked like me, but was much more tan. When I woke up, I was very excited to tell Mars, but I could tell she didn't believe me.

At this point, the ultrasound had informed we were having a girl! Time to do more shopping and tailor the registry for a girl. Mars was very happy and excited! I guess all mothers want a little daughter to pass their wisdom onto. Myself, I started shopping for a shotgun. Towards the end of the second trimester, Mars got busy transitioning her workload to her team. I was still bogged down with my crazy workload. And now the priority was our child. Regardless of all this, we had to remind ourselves to take a moment and step back. Remind ourselves of our life changing decisions and enjoy it. This is a perfect time to have a "baby-moon". Our baby-moon took us out of town for a weekend getaway. Initially our plan was to stay in San Luis Obispo or Pismo Beach, but our planning was last minute and we ended up in Paso Robles, which ended up being very nice. Paso Robles has become a more refined town with a plethora of local wineries doing very well. And where there are nice wineries, there is always good food :) Our hands down favorite brunch place became Panolivo, I highly suggest this location if driving through Paso Robles. Since it is a restaurant/catering/bakery, all baked goods are constantly fresh. We got to sample some deliciously smelling freshly baked rolls, just because we smelled them while walking through the restaurant. For our order, Mars had the Brioche French Toast, which retained a creamy custardy-ness at the center of thick cut brioche slices, while I had Breakfast Sandwich with the roasted potatoes. I mention the potatoes, because although everything was delicious, these were standouts. The potatoes are oven-roasted first with olive oil, salt, and pepper. After cooling, they are pan-fried with rosemary to order.

The third trimester
  The final trimester is almost like a cram session. Everything we put off until then, suddenly required immediate attention. There was a definite sense of urgency, as the baby could decide to come at any time after week 36. So time now is short and precious. Doctor visits become weekly, birthing classes take time, hospital registration, etc.
  The lists started getting ridiculous and overwhelming, so we started deciding on what was really a necessity and what was a nice-to-have item. Examples are now seemingly trivial things like... perhaps finalizing official documents by changing one's maiden name to the husband's last name, stroller decisions, baby-food machines and such. During this time, Mars was already on leave and everyday doing tons of stuff around the house to be ready. Everyday, I needed to knock something out to make forward progression as well. This was for my own sense of contribution, and also in part so that Mars would feel like I was involved and helping. It doesn't sound like much, but since this is a real pressure point and mom-to-be needs to feel like she is not alone. She needs to not only be told that she will be supported (important), but also shown that the she will be supported (very very important!). Let's not forget by this time, she was swollen. She wass carrying an additional 30+ lbs of baby and water weight. Her joints began hurting, her toes/in-step/ankles bloated like a Cabbage Patch Doll, her calves cramp, sleeping, walking, standing, sitting, bending, literally everything became painful. I've known pain like that, having debilitating back injuries from over-exertion and stupidity before in the past. Picture feeling that physical pain, and then coming to a realization that there will not be anyone to help. No ones coming. That dark loneliness... just the potential of that is enough to cause mental stress and anxiety. If I could prevent that by massaging her feet, well bring on the lotion! It's doing all the little little things that help her along that really add up, and I was glad to do it.

Introducing the New Adventures of Kaycee

Introducing the New Adventures of Kaycee!
  This is new since I (daddy) have not done an extensive googling of if there are any other previous Kaycees around with documented adventures. Like any narrative story, this is my perspective :)  

What's in a name?
   There have been numerous books published with baby names. There are countless websites with names, definitions, popularity, history, famous people. The United States Social Security office publishes a yearly trend of 10 most popular names. All this is available, and yet finding the right name has proved frustratingly difficult. Do we name after our mothers? Grandmothers? Find the naming trends there? Do we have preferences of names (either for or against) from our past experiences with people? Do we choose something different, just to be different? These are questions we inevitably came across and discuss at some given time over the last nine or so months. How then, do we make forward progress towards name selection?

 Attempt 1 Make a list!
   We both made a list of 5 or so names we each preferred. We each had two vetoes, each veto would eliminate a name from the list. This made 3+3=6 names to deliberate and compromise over. Seems pretty reasonable, doesn't it? Logical, in fact. You just could not fault the sensible nature of it. So of course it didn't work! And why not? Because a name given to a child is more than a word. It is the parents' representation of an identity label. It is the package of hopes for the future, struggle for adulthood, and pains of adolescence.  

Attempt 2 Bluff!
   I told Mars that my number one choice was... Gretchen. Roll it around, try it out. Chew on it. Still not liking it? Mars and her family did not either. Something about being too old of name. So I suggested something more classic, like Judith (Judy Garland). There was such an immediate backpedaling to Gretchen, I nearly had whiplash! In all honesty, while I do like the name Gretchen... it didn't have the right feel. I put it out there to bluff a bad case scenario.  

Attempt 3 Demonstrate the upper hand!
  I was lamenting of the name selection process, and garnering sympathy from other parents who have gone through similar exercises. One person gave me great advice... don't compromise. "If we don't have a name that I like..." well then it will be solely up to me. How is this possible? Why go through all of this hardship if the decision was solely mine? So this is the loophole that mothers everywhere do not want you to know... at the hospital, the paper works comes immediately after delivery. And...? And the delivering mothers typically pass out after delivery due either to exertion or drugs. So dads, you have sole control of what to fill out for NAME. I let Mars know this, she doubted me. Luckily for me, one of her best friends works NICU and my mother-in-law is a nurse. They corroborated my story, I could in fact fill out the paperwork while she was tired. (I've also heard stories where some more devious fathers would request outlandish requests at this time too, to take advantage of the delusional state.) Then she got really cranky with me. To take away her input in the naming of our child?! Did I dare? Well, no actually I didn't. But I wanted to have her understand that we needed to make a decision fairly quickly. (By week 39, Mars declared that we must quickly make a decision on names!).

  So how did we end up with Kaycee after all? It was all rather simple. I went for a run one Tuesday morning at 7am. The weather was nice, it was still late July and the morning did not quite have a chill yet. I was pushing myself to run the five mile loop at work. Music was playing in my headphones, my mind drifted off. And idea floated in... what if I combined our middle names? Kai Yau and Cecilia? How would that fit together? Kacelia, Celiyau, KaiCec.. Kaice... Kayce... Kaycee. There you go, simple as that. Five permutations, five miles, done deal. I went home, explained how I arrived at Kaycee, Mars was delighted, her family approved and the name stuck.